The Ragin' Asian

Monday, September 26, 2005

Excuse me Sir, I mean Miss…

So I was hanging out with one of my favorite couples this weekend, Alley and Jon.

We were at Lowe, they were looking at paints and blinds for their computer/guest room. After about and hour and a half of this, it just reminded me how I have no idea how two people co-exists in marriage.

Anyway, I was trying to help them find a cover for their radiator cover.

So I found a Lowe’s employee and said, “excuse me sir,” as I try to always be polite to workers, unfortunately then I realized I was addressing a woman.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Heathers

So I got caught up watching Heathers last night, what a great movie.

Here are some great quotes from the movie:

Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.

Heather Chandler: They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.

Heather Chandler: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?

Heather Duke: Because I can be.

Gotta love the 80’s.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

A New War

My friend Jason sent this article to me two days ago. It appeared in the Washington Post. The FBI will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted staff to help battle the war on the pornography industry. What a good way for the country to use man power during a time of war.

The best is a quote from an agent who wanted to remain anonymous, "I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

I think sometimes Bill Maher was right on the money when he came out with his show entitled “I’m Swiss.”

Washington Post
Recruits Sought for Porn Squad
By Barton Gellman
9/20/05

The FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. And it's looking for a few good agents.

Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III.

Mischievous commentary began propagating around the water coolers at 601 Fourth St. NW and its satellites, where the FBI's second-largest field office concentrates on national security, high-technology crimes and public corruption.

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Résumé, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recluse themselves."

Federal obscenity prosecutions, which have been out of style since Attorney General Edwin Meese III in the Reagan administration made pornography a signature issue in the 1980s, do "encounter many legal issues, including First Amendment claims," the FBI headquarters memo noted.

Applicants for the porn squad should therefore have a stomach for the kind of material that tends to be most offensive to local juries. Community standards -- along with a prurient purpose and absence of artistic merit -- define criminal obscenity under current Supreme Court doctrine.

"Based on a review of past successful cases in a variety of jurisdictions," the memo said, the best odds of conviction come with pornography that "includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior." No word on the universe of other kinks that helps make porn a multibillion-dollar industry.

Popular acceptance of hard-core pornography has come a long way, with some of its stars becoming mainstream celebrities and their products -- once confined to seedy shops and theaters -- being "purveyed" by upscale hotels and most home cable and satellite television systems. Explicit sexual entertainment is a profit center for companies including General Motors Corp. and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. (the two major owners of DirecTV), Time Warner Inc. and the Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott and Hyatt hotel chains.

But Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children. Christian conservatives, long skeptical of Gonzales, greeted the pornography initiative with what the Family Research Council called "a growing sense of confidence in our new attorney general."

Congress began funding the obscenity initiative in fiscal 2005 and specified that the FBI must devote 10 agents to adult pornography. The bureau decided to create a dedicated squad only in the Washington Field Office. "All other field offices may investigate obscenity cases pursuant to this initiative if resources are available," the directive from headquarters said. "Field offices should not, however, divert resources from higher priority matters, such as public corruption."

Public corruption, officially, is fourth on the FBI's priority list, after protecting the United States from terrorist attack, foreign espionage and cyber-based attacks. Just below those priorities are civil rights, organized crime, white-collar crime and "significant violent crime." The guidance from headquarters does not mention where pornography fits in.

"The Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation's top priority remains fighting the war on terrorism," said Justice Department press secretary Brian Roehrkasse. "However, it is not our sole priority. In fact, Congress has directed the department to focus on other priorities, such as obscenity."

At the FBI's field office, spokeswoman Debra Weierman expressed disappointment that some of her colleagues find grist for humor in the new campaign. "The adult obscenity squad . . . stems from an attorney general mandate, funded by Congress," she said. "The personnel assigned to this initiative take the responsibility of this assignment very seriously and are dedicated to the success of this program."

Monday, September 19, 2005

Alcohol has been a social lubricant...

This is one of my favorite movie quotes of all-time. It’s from the movie Rodger Dodger, staring Campbell Scott.

“You drink that drink! Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you're going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?”

This quote was very apparent through my last week of socializing with friends. The names will all remain nameless, to protect the innocent.

One friend told me that he thought hooking up with someone who was deaf would be Hot, or as he put it, would give him wood.

A friend of a friend displayed his admiration for Tim McGraw, I wonder if he wishes he could take that one back.

If one of my friends should start drinking, it would help her deal with her life a little bit better. See the quote above. I think she’s going to get a bottle of wine for her birthday and Christmas this year and for the rest of her life.

I realized that one of my friends has the Jedi mind trick ability when it comes to all the females in his circle of friends.

Roger couldn't have said it any better.

Friday, September 16, 2005

She Said What?

Now I know I'm usually the type of person who says something and the response usually is – he didn't just say that.

I know I'm late on this one, but I couldn't pass this one up.

Barbara Bush has some interesting word to say about the hurricane victims earlier this week on a radio show called "Marketplace."

''What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas,'' Barbara Bush said in an interview on Monday with the radio program ''Marketplace.'' ''Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality.''

''And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway,'' she said, ''so this is working very well for them.''

I guess we know where the president gets his articulate speaking skills from.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Burning Question

So today's burning question is this, if your girlfriend or boyfriend told you how many people they had been with, what number would freak you out?

I would also assume the freak out number would be much lower for guys finding out their grifriend's total compared to girls finding out their boyfriend's total.

Just today's daily food for thought.